Times Three
by Eilidh17
Summary: Kidfic/Series. General Jack O'Neill finds himself the guardian of three little boys. Daniel Jackson, Harry Maybourne, and Lord Ba'al. Written as a challenge for the Stargate Kidddrabbles List.


The sun wasn't even over the yard arm and Jack O'Neill was having reservations about this day. Truth be told, he was having reservations about his reservation… the one he'd made for lunch at Carlos's House of Fine Cuisine.

Today was one of those rare days where, with a security team in tow, Jack could take his boys off base, away from this windowless environment and into the wide world beyond. Daniel and Harry weren't the problems; they were your regular all American kids, but the smallest of Jack's brood was a bit of a worry.

Tipping the mark at barely three feet tall, this packet of attitude and bad dress sense was every bit as annoying as his older self was, and it took all of Jack's common sense to look past what he was, and see the child he'd become. How on Earth Jack had become the custodian of three downsized adults was still a mystery, but looking at the scowling face of Ba'al, hands on his hips and dark eyes flashing, Jack knew he was in for a battle.

"I's be not liking dis at all!"

"And I's be not caring," Jack replied, cringing inwardly at his own use of Ba'al's baby words. "We're heading out for lunch, that's final."

Ba'al stamped a foot in protest, and jutting out his chin in a most ungodly manner, muttered, "I am Lord Ba'al, k-,"

"Aht!" Jack raised a finger, "there will be no kree-ing of anyone here. I thought Teal'c made that clear."

"I fink he said somfink like dat."

"You think?"

Ba'al tapped his chin in thought before nodding slowly, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"I thought so. Go," Jack spun his little system lord around and pointing him towards his bedroom, "find some nice robes to put on." Crisis averted, Jack hoped, though he knew no matter what he tried, his miniature doomsayer of galactic domination refused to wear anything but the finest tailor made robes. Running naked around the base or, heaven for bid, in public simply wouldn't do, so a sizable chunk of Jack's wage was being spent at Mrs Wang's Threads and Fineries, outfitting Anubis's underling.

How did he end up in this predicament? No time for commiserations, he still had an archeologist and a pain in the mikta NID rogue agent to find.

"Daniel, Harry?" Jack systematically went from room to room looking for his kids. A set of suits on level 25 had been converted to an on base home for Jack and his brood, living off base all but impossible with a downsized Goa'uld to contend with. The Trust would go to any length to get their hands on these kids, and Jack was around to see that they didn't succeed.

"Front and center, airmen, or you'll be left behind."

Now Harry, a shadow of his adult self, was sure he'd been a spy once and wasted no opportunity honing his skills, and if this included stealthily stalking a black ops General, well, he'd take what he could get. What Harry didn't know was Jack was on to his every move, and turning a corner he stopped abruptly, only to be shoved from behind as Harry stumbled into his legs, landing squarely on his butt.

"Looking for something, Harry?"

"Nope," Harry said in a most undignified tone, "inspecting the floor for bugs."

"Base has been swept, airman, we're clean. Moving out in…" Jack checked his watch. "Five minutes. Dust your butt and be ready."

Harry muttered something under his breath, sprung to his feed and toddled off. Jack, allowing him self a quick satisfied smile, set off in search of his archeologist, and he knew exactly where to look.

"Aww, come on Stanley, every good rock has to drink."

Yup, found him. Daniel and his fascination with his pet rock was fast becoming a joke. Stanley had lived for years on adult Daniel's bookshelf, gathering dust and doing what all good rocks do… nothing. Why Daniel had only now just taken an interest in the 'artifact' was another mystery that was driving Jack to distraction.

"You comfy in there, Stanley?"

"Daniel?"

"Jack?" Daniel spun to face Jack, a container of water in his hand holding the now drowned Stanley. "I'm feeding Stanley before we go, don't want him getting hungry."

"It's a rock!" Jack tried not to whine but as fast as the words came out so did the emotion. "Rock's don't need water."

"Everyone needs water." Daniel sat the container down on the bathroom sink and turned the faucet on. "You don't want him to dehydrate do you?"

"Daniel, two minutes. You be in the den in two minutes or the rock goes back to the lab and you spend lunch with Doc in the infirmary while she does her monthly vaccinations." As an afterthought, Jack added, "I'm sure I saw your name on her list."

The faucet turned off, followed by the bathroom light, Daniel had taken the hint.

So here they were, an hour later, several changes of clothes later – the irate dress wearing intergalactic clothes horse found his choices wanting – and Jack had managed to get his charges in the restaurant and seated. Blatantly obvious security detail aside, he was pretty pleased with himself.

It was a short lived experience.

"Jack, I think I'm allergic to vegetables."

"Spies only drink martinis."

"This booster chair fing is an affwont to my godliness."

Like the plot of a bad 'B' grade movie, Jack sat through the meal with a tight grin stapled to his face, waving casually at the other restaurant patrons. "Let this day be over," he grumbled under his breath.

"I gotta pee." Harry thrust one hand towards his groin.

"Hold it, airman."

"I have to go as well, must be all that soda."

"Daniel, I told you to stop at 3 glasses, unlimited refills doesn't mean you have to take advantage of the offer."

Ba'al bounced up and down on his booster seat, hands smacking the tray front. "Dis body is weak."

"You too?"

"Yup."

Releasing his cargo from their chairs, Jack ushered them off towards the bathroom, nodding to the security detail on the way past. "Just making a pit stop, boys, nothing to worry about." The bathroom was pitifully small, and the stench was a pure delight. Sucking in a lung full of crappy air, Jack screwed up his face and tried not to gag. "I'll be waiting right outside boys."

Acknowledging a chorus of yes's, Jack left the boys to their devices and sat outside with the security detail. Minutes ticked by, times were compared, and stares were traded, but not a single child was seen.

"Best I go in and rescue them, probably fallen down the latrine."

Swinging the door open, Jack was hit first by the smell and secondly by the sound of silence, the bathroom was empty. "They were here a minute ago!"

TBC.


End file.
